The cisgender bias- thinking beyond misogyny and misandry

Men and women have made a remarkable progress in defying gender stereotypes and roles in this century compared to the 20th century. There has been progress over the last decades: More girls are going to school, fewer girls are forced into early marriage, more women are serving in parliament and positions of leadership, and laws are being reformed to advance gender equality. (un.org) There is no doubt that gender equality still has a long way to go but in this long battle to trump misogyny have we as a society really embraced the true meaning of gender equality?

The UNICEF says gender equality is when people of all genders have equal rights, responsibilities and opportunities. (vic.gov.au) If that’s the true definition of gender equality then why are people that identify as transgender or gender neutral left out of gender equality discussions? We as a society want to think we are progressive but at the same time we leave the most marginalized gender out of our textbooks. When having a conversation with our boys regarding gender equality we tell them to respect girls and woman but almost never tell them to respect all genders. We as a society have been conditioned to leave out non binary people which has lead to a silent oppression against them for centuries. The men and women of today, both, hold an implicit bias against trans gender people passed on to us by older generations wherein we know they exist, we know they need our assistance but we don’t want to help since the majority is unaffected. In this paper I intend to portray this bias through different anecdotes which should prove that our ignorance is relevant and how it impacts us as a society.

Let’s use popular TV shows and see how they fit in to our theme.

“Women’s Appreciation,” The Office (S3:E21)

The premise of this episode is that Phyllis, a straight woman, is flashed in the parking lot of her office building. Her boss, Michael Scott, spends the rest of the day holding meetings with women of the office to celebrate them and discuss and hopefully relate to their struggles as well. The episode is full of misogynist anecdotes that put a light comedy spin on a very important issue of gender stereotyping. In the episode Dwight Schrute, a coworker of Phyllis, sends a memo to all the women of the office, after the flashing incident, but the memo is filled with a set of demeaning rules that the women must follow which he believes can help prevent work place harassment. Michael, at the same time, conducts a disastrous meeting in which instead of celebrating women he stereotypes them. The male characters in the episode fail to relate to the struggles that their female counterparts face, some like Creed even deny that the flashing incident was a problem in the first place and their solutions do not solve the problem but instead highlight how men in or society are blinded with misogyny and most gender stereotypes are a direct cause of the same.

But what if the victim of the flashing incident in this episode was a trans woman? Would Michael have still held the women’s appreciation meeting? Would the women in the office still be as upset as they were when the victim was Phyllis? We would never know since the office has no non binary characters in the show’s nine seasons. In fact, in the last decade, non-binary characters have not been in a lot of hit sit-coms, if any. American television has been very reclusive of including non-binary characters in popular TV shows and that says a lot about how uncomfortable our society as a whole is when it comes to talking about gender identities beyond the cisgender.

“Sex Education” (entire series)

On the flip side we have this very progressive British comedy show called Sex Education. Sex Education has done a phenomenal work when it comes to inclusion. Over the course of its 2 seasons, Sex Education has introduced characters of different genders, nationalities, sexual orientation, identities and backgrounds. In the show Otis, a teenage boy, gives sex advice to his classmates that he gets from his sex therapist mom. Their school does not offer enough resources for the students and to become more informed about their teenage curiosities and in an attempt to discover themselves the students pay Otis instead for advice on relationships and sex. Over its course, the show explores hush-hush topics such as bisexuality, gay sex, trans sex and most importantly being comfortable with one’s own sexual and gender identities.

This wholesome sit-com also draws a great parallel to our required reading for this unit “A new vision of masculinity.” In the reading Cooper Thompson talks about the use of the word ‘fag’ and how closeted homosexual men find violence as a pathway to suppress their natural desires. In sex education too, the character of Adam Groff struggles with being a closeted gay boy in high school. His dad, also the high school principal, is conservative and as a result does not want a sex counselor in the school. Since Adam cannot open up to his family and lacks the resources a sex counselor could offer students he beats up his classmates and picks on the openly gay kid because of jealousy. In the end he does accept who he is and gets to be happy but the same can’t be said for so many young high schoolers in America. The lack of discussion in our school institutions regarding gender roles and stereotypes often have young and vulnerable students second guessing themselves. They are not at peace with the desires of their body and with nobody to talk to and guide them these young students are left helpless and puzzled since they don’t fit in with the societal constructs of binary gender or heterosexuality. This is why it’s so important that main stream media picks up on such issues and portrays them in sitcoms and movies so that the vulnerable youth can stop feeling alone and actually start living life.

Connection to My Life Experiences

I have been extremely fortunate to not deal with questioning my gender and identity as a straight male and I say that since I grew up in India where homosexuality was illegal till 2014 and identifying to a gender assigned to you at birth is considered unholy and even evil in some cultures. My family is very supportive and loving but unfortunately there are parents that make their children go visit temples where priests think they can pray the gay out of children. Some kids, unsure of their gender, experiment with cross dressing but get hit and punished for not respecting the body that “God chose for them.” Some even get murdered by their own families so they don’t have to answer to the society as to why their son is wearing a lipstick or why their daughter isn’t married to a man. Unfathomable right? Unfortunately this is the truth in many parts of the world where children and even adults who don’t follow the societal construct of male and female are tortured in the name of religion. So why do I care about this if it doesn’t affect me?

My privilege as a rich straight male in India has given me the opportunity of a foreign education and an experience which has let me see two completely different sides of the world which has let me acknowledge my privilege and made me humble because if I wasn’t either rich, straight or a male in my country, I would not have had nearly the same opportunities and the advantages as I do now. Growing up I was admitted to a good school and given a good education where we discussed gender stereotypes, inequality and discrimination. I have always respected women and demanded change for women’s equality in my country. I thought I was ‘woke’ and distinguished myself from misogynists, even considered myself progressive. But when I came to America I was hit with the truth. I have actually never been progressive, I thought I was but it wasn’t true.

In India the third gender is called The Hijras. This marginalized community is often the targets of violent and non-violent attacks. They are nothing like the transgender community in America. All Indian laws were binary in nature before they passed this in 2014 (lexology.com) which means if a person identified as trans or was born as trans they had no rights whatsoever. So before 2014, if you were born in India and the doctor did not certify you as male or female on birth you were abandoned by your family and since no laws applied to you the primary source of income was begging. But that’s not the only challenge this community faced. Indian society has been customed to think that these unnatural people are evil and therefore they often get belittled by the public. They live on the streets and kids are told by their parents to avoid even making eye-contact with them. I was one of those kids and since it was the accepted practice in my society I was also scared of these people. Coming to the U.S. and being exposed to western media has made me realize how profoundly wrong the people back home are and the injustices that the Hijras have faced.

Conclusion: New & Transformative Insights I Have Gained

I was always taught to respect women and not discriminate on the basis of a person’s gender but no one taught me that there aren’t only 2 genders. Even my textbooks said there were only 2 genders- male and female. We as a society have oppressed non binary people, subjected them to injustices and denied them basic human rights. The concepts of misogyny and misandry, although still very much relevant, have blinded us from the truths about the third gender.

I believe that change starts with the individual before the society. I, as an individual, can bring change by educating my friends and family back home about the truth of the transgender community. I can answer their questions and fact check their traditional beliefs changing one mindset at a time. Social media is a great tool to mobilize and spread information. I believe the trans community in India needs a platform and the younger generation like me can give it to them.

The society as a whole needs to start change by recognizing that these people have been oppressed and that they deserve better. We must demand to the government to change our textbooks to make a mention about transgender communities. Sex education needs to be added as a mandatory course in schools and people need to understand that being trans is normal. The government should also provide welfare programs so this community can break the socioeconomic barriers and make progress. Some of these suggestions are not just for India but the U.S. as well. Doctors need to stop conducting gender reassignment surgeries in kids or the request of a parent. It should be mandatory for child services to be notified if a kid is undergoing gender reassignment surgery. Lastly, the need of the hour is that we as a society teach our kids that it is okay to be different. Society does not define who you are, you yourself do.

Works Cited

Gender equality and women’s empowerment — United Nations Sustainable Development. (n.d.). Retrieved October 26, 2020, from https://www.un.org/sustainabledevelopment/gender-equality/

Gender equality: What is it and why do we need it? (n.d.). Retrieved October 26, 2020, from https://www.vic.gov.au/gender-equality-what-it-and-why-do-we-need-it

Laboris, L. (2020, March 12). Transgender rights, the ‘Third Gender’ and transforming the workplace in India. Retrieved October 26, 2020, from https://www.lexology.com/library/detail.aspx?g=b49d9488-c484-4d00-882c-2c386a041a07